Today, some levity with three nursing jokes in
English.
Source: NursingHumor.com. Noteworthy idioms (vocabulary) are in bold.
Source: NursingHumor.com. Noteworthy idioms (vocabulary) are in bold.
Black
Testicles (Are you gonna get it? It took me a while!)
A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth.
A young student nurse comes by to sponge his face and hands.
“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
He struggles again to ask, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Again the nurse replies, “I can’t tell. I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
The charge nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught, so she marches over to find out what’s wrong.
“Nurse,” he mumbles, “are my testicles black?”
Being an experienced nurse, she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes, and announces, “Nothing is wrong with them!!!”
At this the exasperated man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, “Are my test results back?”
A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth.
A young student nurse comes by to sponge his face and hands.
“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
He struggles again to ask, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Again the nurse replies, “I can’t tell. I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
The charge nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught, so she marches over to find out what’s wrong.
“Nurse,” he mumbles, “are my testicles black?”
Being an experienced nurse, she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes, and announces, “Nothing is wrong with them!!!”
At this the exasperated man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, “Are my test results back?”
ER joke
1
The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing.
While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.
He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by.
Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, “Just how long have you been waiting?”
The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing.
While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.
He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by.
Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, “Just how long have you been waiting?”
ER joke
2
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady’s 78-year old daughter that her mother didn’t make it.
”Didn’t make it?” the daughter asked. “Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!”
(Dual meaning for ‘to make it.’)
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady’s 78-year old daughter that her mother didn’t make it.
”Didn’t make it?” the daughter asked. “Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!”
(Dual meaning for ‘to make it.’)
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